Humorous Questions that make You Think Twice Part 2

2 01 2010

Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

Are part-time band leaders semiconductors?

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop?

Day light savings time-why are they saving it and where do they keep it?

Did Noah keep his bees in archives?

 If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?

 Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

 Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, ‘My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic’?

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?

Why does mineral water that ‘has trickled through mountains for centuries have a ‘use by’ date?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no‑one would eat?

 Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ‘I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out’?

 What do people in China call their good plates?

 If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

  Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?

Do pilots take crash courses?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4’s”?

Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?

How can there be self-help “groups”?

How do you get off a nonstop flight?

How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

How many weeks are there in a light year?

If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing “Happy Birthday?”

If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?

If athletes get athlete’s foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?

If blind people wear dark glasses, why don’t deaf people wear ear muffs?

If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?

If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?

If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

Why do the signs that say “Slow Children” have a picture of a running child?

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that one enjoys it! ?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren’t they just stale bread to begin with?!

 Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?

f lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys              deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaner depressed?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use?                          Toothpicks?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their               pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?





How to be a Creative Genuis #9

2 01 2010

Life lessons for the childhood of Einstein

9.   Develop independent thinking

  At the age of eight I entered the German secondary school. But I would learn mostly on my own.  The German school reminded me of when I watched a military parade marching through Munich.  School was like a vast machine with people who had no thinking for themselves. School contained strict teachers and the students just memorized facts not expected to think.  If a student answered too slowly or incorrectly a teacher might rap him on the hand with a ruler. There were no questions or independent thinking.

  I had a poor memory for words and thus had great difficulty in school. Amazing I still have a hand.

 I was prepared to accept any sort of punishment rather than learn to babble something strictly from memory.  This destroys a pupil’s curiosity and sense of individuality, most precious gifts that an education can and should nurture and reinforce.   The only thing that interfered with my learning was my education.

Most teachers waste their time by asking questions that are intended to discover what a pupil does not know, whereas the true art of questioning is to discover what the pupil does know or is capable of knowing. It is not so very important for a person to learn facts.  For that he does not really need school, he can learn them from books.  The value of an education is not the learning of many facts, but the training of the mind to think something that cannot be learned from textbooks.

It is almost a miracle that modern teaching methods have not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry; for what this delicate little plant needs more than anything, besides stimulation, is freedom.

Yes, it is true……..I was expelled from school for asking too many questions that teachers could not answer.                 

Look at my picture from the class photo for the Luilpold Gymnasium  1889  only one smiling.

I moved to Italy where the schools were more encouraging.

I learned independent thinking.  At the age of 11, I was reading the mathematician Pythagoras.  I became obsessed with proving the Pythagorean Theorem and was able to do what most college students could not do. At 12 read the writings of geometry of Euclid and at 13 started reading Immanuel Kant and other philosophers.  I read all the science books and magazines I could find.  I had questions I wanted answered and I had a hunger for knowledge.  

 Many students sit passively and just learn what they are supposed to.  I wanted to do more than my teacher said. I wanted to be in the drivers seat of my learning.  Do more than you have to do!

  If man does only what is required of him he is a slave, the moment he does more he is a free man. —Cicero  

  So I read and learned as much as I could on my own.

 The aim (of education) must be the training of independently acting and thinking individuals who, however, see in the service to the community their highest life achievement.

     Develop independent thinking





Quotes about Change

2 01 2010

 Welcome to the new year and new decade

Every new year is a year of change.  These quotes are to encourage my readers to welcome change.

Quotes for a Change

  To change one’s life: Start immediately.  Do it flamboyantly. No exceptions

     William James

 Get all the education you can, but then, by God, do something.  Don’t just stand there: make it happen.

   Lee Iococca

 Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.

      Walter Bagehot

 The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do.  The hard part is doing it.

   H.  Norman Schwarzkopf

  The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them.

       George Bernard Shaw

 Watch your thought; they become words.

Watch your words; they become actions.

Watch your actions; they become habits.

Watch your habits; they become character.

Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

                        Frank Outlaw

If you think you can do a thing or think you can not do a thing, you’re right.

                           Henry Ford

We cannot choose the things that will happen to us.  But we can choose the attitude we will take toward anything that happens.  Success or failure depends on your attitude.

         Alfred A. Montapert

 Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.

          Will Rogers

When you’re through changing, you’re through.

                Bruce Barton

One must never lose time in vainly regretting the past or in complaining against the changes which cause us discomfort, for change is the essence of life.

      Anatole France                                                       

We must change in order to survive.

     Pearl Baily

Change is a challenge and an opportunity, not a threat.

    Prince Phillip of England

 The first step toward change is acceptance…. Change is not something you do, it’s something you allow.

          Will Garcia                                                                   

Be the change that you want to see in the world.

            Mahatma Gandhi

 Will you be the rock that redirects the course of the river?

          Claire Nuer

 The world will not change until we do.

           Jim Wallis

Never underestimate your power to change yourself:

Never overestimate your power to change others.

        Viktor Frankl

 Everything flows, nothing stays still.

      Heraclitus

Yesterday is a canceled check; tomorrow is a promissory note: today is the only cash you have– so spend it wisely.

           Kay Lyons

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

     Charles Dederich  

This is the day which the Lord has made.  Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

      Psalms 118:24

 There is no such thing in anyone”s life as an unimportant day.         

 Alexander Woollcott

 I wasn’t afraid to fail.  Something good always comes out of failure.

         Anne Baxter

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?

      Robert Schuller

 We are the choices we make.

         Meryl Streep

 Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.

  Theodore Roosevelt

The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.

       William James

Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.

             William Feather

The beginning is the most important part of the work.

   Plato