Motivational Quotes: Resourcefulness

7 03 2010

Resourcefulness : Use what you learn!

 “Making mental connections is our most crucial learning tool, the essence of human intelligence; to forge links; to go beyond the given; to see patterns, relationships, context.”
Marilyn Ferguson

We do not learn from our experiences; we learn by reflecting on our experiences.”
John Dewey

“The purpose of a course on thinking is to enhance student’s abilities to face new challenges and to attack novel problems confidently, rationally and productively.”
Marilyn J. Adams

“We often discover what will do, by finding out what will not do; and probably he who never made a mistake never made a discovery.”
Samuel Smiles

“We learn the ropes of life by untying its knots.”
Jean Toomer

“Learning is the ability to make sense out of something you observe based on your past experience and being able to take that observations and associate it with meaning.”
Ruth and Art Winter

“I’ve never made a mistake. I’ve only learned from experience.”
Thomas A. Edison

“Notice the difference between what happens when a man says to himself, ‘I have failed three times,’ and what happens when he says, ‘I’m a failure.'”
S. I. Hayakawa
“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.”
George Bernard Shaw

“It is necessary for us to learn from others’ mistakes. You will not live long enough to make them all yourself.”
Hyman Rickover

 “The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.”
Bishop W. C. Magee

“There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, learning from failure.”
Colin Powell

“Look back to learn how to look forward.”
Joe Girard

“Life can be real rough . . . you can either learn from your problems, or keep repeating them over and over.”
Marie Osmond

“When I want to understand what is happening today or try to decide what will happen tomorrow, I look back.”
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

“Life must be understood backwards. But it must be lived forward.”
Soren Kierkegaard

“What I’ve been doing in practice will carry over into the game.”
Randall Cunningham, Professional Football Player

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”
Albert Einstein

“Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.”
Auguste Rodin

“Education is knowing where to go to find out what you need to know; and it’s knowing how to use the information you get.”
William Feather, Author and Publisher
“Mistakes are the usual bridge between inexperience and wisdom.”
Phyllis Theroux

“What looks like a loss may be the very event which is subsequently responsible for helping to produce the major achievement of your life.”
Srully D. Blotnick

Medicine Show Sales Pitch

7 03 2010

Here is a comedy Medicine Show sales pitch that is filled with wordplay and silliness.  I want to thank Len “Doc” Wayne for ideas and inspiration for this.  His books and scripts are funny and well-written.  Track them down if you want ideas for magicians, entertainers and public speakers.

                             Medicine Show Pitch

(by Bob Bishop)

Ladies and gentleman, young and old, wise and otherwise before I start speaking let me say this.  I’m here today to elucidate, educate and enumerate a few priceless gems of wisdom that I have learned during my far‑flung life travels around the civilized and uncivilized world.  Yes, I come with a Suma Con Loudmouth Degree from Dim Wit U.  And furthermore it’s needless to say it’s needless to say and with that said I am here to say that one of the greatest goals man can attain is the conquest over human pain.  Now how about you? Yes, You!

Are you hurtin for certain?  Uh uh

Has your get up and go got up and went?  Uh uh

Have you blarted your bramisham and decasified your crambus?  Uh uh

Are you working your bingers to the phone and getting only phony bingers?  Uh uh

Well, pobodie’s nerfect. That’s right!

Well, whimper, weep and wallow in misery no more.  You brought your face to the right place. Now step in a little closer flokes because these arcane mysteries and esoteric anomalies are not for the  unassuming, unsophisticated, unwashed unsuspecting populace‑but for your tender ears and yours alone.

Friends, I know that you are all anxious for me to gesticulate about the perpendicular, pluperfect wondrous edifications of this Elixir of Life.  Let’s not bush around the beat any longer. Here is the answer to your questions, the solution to your problem and ailment for your cure. I am proud to prevent our High‑Potency Liver Regulated Gasteral Pepto Elmulsifiyer. Wow!

If you are like most people, and most people are, you won’t pass up this one and only, original, one‑hundred percent genuine respirated, perspirated, confiscated, ventilated, highly concentrated spiritus fermenti…compounded by me from an ancient secret concoction of natural and unnatural sperbs and hices. We have done extensive, expensive, recessive research and have left no turn unstoned to bring this truly pharmacopeia of medicinal wonders that will knock the behoozies out of everything that ails you from pain in the gasorkis to erasceration in your sabrifrom.  All this with no salubrius side effects.

And my friends it’s all blended to absolute perfection right in the privacy of my very own bath tub. Yes, flokes this is the very same hopping, skipping, jumping for joy juice that’ll put superlatives in your superscrazal, razzle in you dazzle, zippity in your doo‑dah, doo‑doo in your whoop‑de‑do..and dah dah in your lah‑de‑dah.

Do you feel perflexed, exasperated, flaxicated, irritated and agitated?  This will kick‑start your  faluzy and ignite that creative spark in your cerebral cortex.

So in confusion let me say this.

Don’t bite the hand that lays the golden egg. Don’t let a gift horse in the house because a horse divided against itself cannot stand or sit very well either. And if our High‑Potency Liver Regulated Gasteral Pepto Elmulsifiyer doesn’t sit well with you just return the unused portion of this wonderful Elixir and we’ll return the unused portion of your money. Be sure you read the label for more inflammation. Remember you can lead a horse to water but a pencil must be lead.  So get the lead out and buy High‑Potency Liver Regulated Gasteral Pepto Elmulsifiyer.