Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?
Are part-time band leaders semiconductors?
Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop?
Day light savings time-why are they saving it and where do they keep it?
Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?
Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, ‘My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic’?
Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?
Why does mineral water that ‘has trickled through mountains for centuries have a ‘use by’ date?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no‑one would eat?
Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ‘I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out’?
What do people in China call their good plates?
If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?
Do pilots take crash courses?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4′s”?
Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?
Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?
How can there be self-help “groups”?
How do you get off a nonstop flight?
How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
How many weeks are there in a light year?
If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing “Happy Birthday?”
If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?
If athletes get athlete’s foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?
If blind people wear dark glasses, why don’t deaf people wear ear muffs?
If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?
If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?
If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
Why do the signs that say “Slow Children” have a picture of a running child?
Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that one enjoys it! ?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren’t they just stale bread to begin with?!
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
f lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaner depressed?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?