Quotations About Humor

Almost all new ideas have a certain aspect of foolishness when they are first produced

           -Alfred North Whitehead

 

People do not quit playing because they grow old.  They grow old because they quit playing

    -Oliver Wendell Holmes

 

You don’t stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing.

  -Michael Pritchard

 

You cannot deal with the most serious things in the world unless you understand  the amusing

  -Winston Churchill

 

Sometimes you’re the bug, sometimes you’re the windshield.

     -Unknown

 

Comedy is for those who think and a tragedy is for those who feel.

-Horace Walpole

 

Wrinkles merely indicate where smiles have been.

-Mark Twain

 

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

-Victor Borge

 

When humor goes, there goes civilization.

-Erma  Bombeck

 

Mirth is God’s medicine

-Henry Beecher

 

Among those whom I like, I can find no common denominator: but among those I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.

-W. H. Auden

  

Laughter is, after speech, the chief thing that holds society together.

 

-Max Eastman

 

 He who laughs, lasts.

-Norwegian Proverb

 

The jester is brother to the sage.

     -Arthur  Koestler

 

Humor is a means of obtaining pleasure in spite of the distressing affects that interfere with it.

-Freud

 

Humor at its best is a kind of heightened truth- a super-truth.

-E. B. White

 

Dictators fear laughter more than bombs

-Arthur Koestler

 

The most wasted day of all is that on which we have not laughed.

-Sebastian Chamfort

 

When I’m happy I fell like crying, but when I’m sad don’t feel like laughing.  I think it’s better to be happy.  Then you get two feelings for the price of one.

-Lily Tomlin

 

Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.

-Mark Twain

 

 

A cheerful heart is good medicine

 -Proverbs 17: 22

 

 Half this game is 90% mental.

Danny Ozark

Terribly Terrific Tongue Twisters

Each must be said three quickly times!

 

 

Trumpeter Tom was terribly tickled to take time today to trumpet tidy tunes.

 

A nosey boy annoys a nosey oyster.

 

Ruth’s washed roof’s wet.

 

We won by one run.

 

The spunky punk thunk the skunk stunk.

 

A manager of an imaginary menagerie.

 

Pick up a teacup and hiccup.

 

Cooked cupcakes

 

Walt wrote what Wendy read.

 

Luminous linoleum and voluminous aluminum.

 

Mrs. Muster mixed a mess of mushy mustard.  A mess of mushy mustard did Mrs, Muster mixed.  If Mrs. Muster mixed a mess of mushy mustard, where’s the mess of mushy mustard Mrs. Muster mixed?

 

Rooty toot two to you too.

 

Dust buster must bust dust.

 

Which witch watched which witch?

 

Thad thanked Theo for thwarting the worst theft.

Tongue Twisters – Brain Teasers

The following unpunctuated passages are tongue twisters and brain teasers.  First see how fast you can read them aloud, then reread them with the expression of an elocution student.  Finally, explain the situations described without laughing or even smiling.  You will find this is not easy to do.

Why Went Went Without Go

Mr. Go and Mr. Went had a date to see a ball game so…Go knew Went wanted to go but it depended upon when Went went so Go went to Went to get Went to go but Went told Go to go so Go went after Go went Went went after Go to tell Go to go not knowing Go went to phone Went not to go When Went went to tell Go to go and when Go went to let Went know Go wanted Went not to go is not known and that’s why Go went without Went and Went went without Go.

See, Sore and a Seesaw

Mr.  See and Mr. Sore were old friends.  See owned a saw and Sore a seesaw Now See’s saw sawed Sore’s seesaw before Sore saw See which made Sore sore with See had Sore seen See’s saw before See’s saw sawed sore’s seesaw then See’s saw would not have sawed Sore’s seesaw.  But See saw Sore and sore’s seesaw before Sore saw See’s saw, so you see how Sore saw could saw Sore’s seesaw.  It was a shame to see See see sore so sore with See just because See’s saw sawed Sore’s seesaw.

A Tough Fight at the Fort

General Fite stormed the fort of General Fort Fite fought at Fort’s for before Fort could fight Fite but Fite’s unfortified fort enabled Fort to fight Fit better than Fite fought Fort So Fite fought Fort and Fort fought Fit at Fort’s fort and boy how Fort fought Fite If Fort had fought fite before Fite’s unfortified fort instead of fort fighting Fite before Fort’s fort then Fort and Fite might no have fought and there would be no need for Fort’s fort and Fite’s fight.