Fantastic Quotes About Math

13 06 2013

“Prime numbers are what is left when you have taken all the patterns away. I think prime numbers are like life. They are very logical but you could never work out the rules, even if you spent all your time thinking about them.”
Mark Haddon, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time

“I’ve got a few ideas,” (Amy) admitted. “But I don’t know where we’re going in the long term. I mean – have you ever thought about what this ultimate treasure could be?”
“Something cool.” (Dan)
“Oh, that’s real helpful. I mean, what could make somebody the most powerful Cahill in history? And why thirty-nine clues?”
Dan shrugged. “Thirty-nine is a sweet number. It’s thirteen times three. It’s also the sum of five prime numbers in a row – 3,5,7,11,13. And if you add the first three powers of three, 3 to the first, 3 to the second, and s to the third, you get thirty-nine.”
Amy stared at him. “How did you know that?”
“What do you mean? It’s obvious.”
Rick Riordan, The Maze of Bones

“If people do not believe that mathematics is simple, it is only because they do not realize how complicated life is.”
John von Neumann

“Philosophy [nature] is written in that great book which ever is before our eyes — I mean the universe — but we cannot understand it if we do not first learn the language and grasp the symbols in which it is written. The book is written in mathematical language, and the symbols are triangles, circles and other geometrical figures, without whose help it is impossible to comprehend a single word of it; without which one wanders in vain through a dark labyrinth.”
Galileo Galilei

“Statement: A girl and a boy jump into a river. The boy swims over to the girl and says, “God, it’s cold.”
Question: What’s the probability they will kiss?”
Jenny Downham, You Against Me

“It has become almost a cliché to remark that nobody boasts of ignorance of literature, but it is socially acceptable to boast ignorance of science and proudly claim incompetence in mathematics.”
Richard Dawkins

“Mathematics expresses values that reflect the cosmos, including orderliness, balance, harmony, logic, and abstract beauty.”
Deepak Chopra

“The formulation of the problem is often more essential than its solution, which may be merely a matter of mathematical or experimental skill.”
Albert Einstein

“It is the story that matters not just the ending.”
Paul Lockhart, A Mathematician’s Lament: How School Cheats Us Out of Our Most Fascinating and Imaginative Art Form

“It is impossible to be a mathematician without being a poet in soul.”
― Sophia Kovalevskaya

“The only reason I don’t know more about love is because there just isn’t more to know. In fact, I’ve reduced love to a mathematical formula: Hdgk(X)=H2k(X,Q)∩Hk,k(X). Actually, that’s not right. That’s the statement piece of the Hodge conjecture, but I’m sure you already knew that.
”
Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They’re Over.

“The vast majority of us imagine ourselves as like literature people or math people. But the truth is that the massive processor known as the human brain is neither a literature organ or a math organ. It is both and more.”
John Green

“A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems”
Paul Erdos

“The accumulation of birthdays is the leading cause of death in the United States and other large land masses. Now while that may not be 100% accurate, it is at least 88% accurate. Actually, the last sentence itself might not have been 100% accurate, but I’m 88% sure it was. Maybe I should just brush up on fractions and percentages before making statements that are liable to hurt the funeral industry, because if birthdays aren’t killing people then it’s bad for the mortality business. And if you can’t trust somebody to die, then you can’t trust somebody. But I’m somebody you can trust. I’m at least 88% trustworthy, at least 88% of the time. 
”
Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you’d still waste time by reading it.

 

“I can see patterns in events, and behaviors; in mathematics, I follow slower”
Jacqueline Carey, Kushiel’s Chosen

 

“Pray tell us, what’s your favorite number?”…
“Shiva jumped up to the board, uninvited, and wrote 10,213,223″…
“And pray, why would this number interest us?”
“It is the only number that describes itself when you read it, ‘One zero, two ones, three twos, two threes’.”
Abraham Verghese, Cutting for Stone

“When things get too complicated, it sometimes makes sense to stop and wonder: Have I asked the right question?”
Enrico Bombieri

“No mathematician in the world would bother making these senseless distinctions: 2 1/2 is a “mixed number ” while 5/2 is an “improper fraction.” They’re EQUAL for crying out loud. They are the exact same numbers and have the exact same properties. Who uses such words outside of fourth grade?”
Paul Lockhart, A Mathematician’s Lament: How School Cheats Us Out of Our Most Fascinating and Imaginative Art Form

 

“I’ll tell you once,
and I’ll tell you again.
There’s always a prime
between n and 2n.”
Paul Erdos, Topics in the Theory of Numbers

 

“Yes, but you need to learn your maths.”
“I don’t need to, really. I already know how to count to a hundred. And I’m sure I’ll never need more than a hundred of anything.”
Lisa Kleypas, Love in the Afternoon

 

“Infinite is a meaningless word: except – it states / The mind is capable of performing / an endless process of addition.”
Louis Zukofsky

 

“On a plaque attached to the NASA deep space probe we [human beings] are described in symbols for the benefit of any aliens who might meet the spacecraft as “bilaterly symmetrical, sexually differentiated bipeds, located on one of the outer spiral arms of the Milky Way, capable of recognizing the prime numbers and moved by one extraordinary quality that lasts longer than all our other urges—curiosity.”
David Wells

 

“Dreams are what guide us, art is what defines us, math is what makes it all possible, and love is what lights our way.”
Mike Norton

“The best way to be appreciative for your life is to live it; don’t die for any other reason but love. Dreams are what guide us, art is what defines us, math is makes it all possible, and love is what lights our way.”
Mike Norton, White Mountain

“…now Eli was my new neighbor. Which was fine with me because I sucked at Math. Math and I were not on speaking terms.”
Shelly Crane, Consume

“When a student comes and asks, “Should I become a mathematician?” the answer should be no. If you have to ask, you shouldn’t even ask.”
Paul Halmos

 

“What a shame,” signed the Dodecahedron. “They’re so very useful. Why, did you know that if a beaver two feet long with a tail a foot and a half long can build a dam twelve feet high and six feet wide in two days, all you would need to build Boulder Dam is a beaver sixty-eight feet long with a fifty-one-foot tail?”

“Where would you find a beaver that big?” grumbled the Humbug as his pencil point snapped.

“I’m sure I don’t know,” he replied, “but if you did, you’d certainly know what to do with him.”

“That’s absurd,” objected Milo, whose head was spinning from all the numbers and questions.

“That may be true,” he acknowledged, “but it’s completely accurate, and as long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong? If you want sense, you’ll have to make it yourself.”
Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth

“God has the Big Book, the beautiful proofs of mathematical theorems are listed here.”
Paul Erdos

“‎”There are two ways to do great mathematics. The first is to be smarter than everybody else. The second way is to be stupider than everybody else — but persistent.”
Raoul Bott

“Doing mathematics should always mean finding patterns and crafting beautiful and meaningful explanations.”
Paul Lockhart, A Mathematician’s Lament: How School Cheats Us Out of Our Most Fascinating and Imaginative Art Form

“Some people believe in imaginary friends. I believe in imaginary numbers.”
R.M. ArceJaeger

“Math is like water. It has a lot of difficult theories, of course, but its basic logic is very simple. Just as water flows from high to low over the shortest possible distance, figures can only flow in one direction. You just have to keep your eye on them for the route to reveal itself. That’s all it takes. You don’t have to do a thing. Just concentrate your attention and keep your eyes open, and the figures make everything clear to you. In this whole, wide world, the only thing that treats me so kindly is math.”
Haruki Murakami, 1Q84

“I think scientists have a valid point when they bemoan the fact that it’s socially acceptable in our culture to be utterly ignorant of math, whereas it is a shameful thing to be illiterate.”
Jennifer Ouellette, The Calculus Diaries: How Math Can Help You Lose Weight, Win in Vegas, and Survive a Zombie Apocalypse

“The greatest mathematics has the simplicity and inevitableness of supreme poetry and music, standing on the borderland of all that is wonderful in Science, and all that is beautiful in Art.”
Robert Turnbull

“The point about zero is that we do not need to use it in the operation of daily life. No one goes out to buy zero fish.”
Alfred North Whitehead

“Another mistaken notion connected with the law of large numbers is the idea that an event is more or less likely to occur because it has or has not happened recently. The idea that the odds of an event with a fixed probability increase or decrease depending on recent occurrences of the event is called the gambler’s fallacy. For example, if Kerrich landed, say, 44 heads in the first 100 tosses, the coin would not develop a bias towards the tails in order to catch up! That’s what is at the root of such ideas as “her luck has run out” and “He is due.” That does not happen. For what it’s worth, a good streak doesn’t jinx you, and a bad one, unfortunately , does not mean better luck is in store.”
Leonard Mlodinow, The Drunkard’s Walk: How Randomness Rules Our Lives

“Be honest: did you actually read [the above geometric proof]? Of course not. Who would want to?

The effect of such a production being made over something so simple is to make people doubt their own intuition. Calling into question the obvious by insisting that it be ‘rigorously proved’ … is to say to a student ‘Your feelings and ideas are suspect. You need to think and speak our way.”
Paul Lockhart, A Mathematician’s Lament: How School Cheats Us Out of Our Most Fascinating and Imaginative Art Form

“Senator, I make it a point never to do math in public.”
― Paul W.

“There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1.”
John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

“He walked straight out of college into the waiting arms of the Navy.

They gave him an intelligence test. The first question on the math part had to do with boats on a river: Port Smith is 100 miles upstream of Port Jones. The river flows at 5 miles per hour. The boat goes through water at 10 miles per hour. How long does it take to go from Port Smith to Port Jones? How long to come back?

Lawrence immediately saw that it was a trick question. You would have to be some kind of idiot to make the facile assumption that the current would add or subtract 5 miles per hour to or from the speed of the boat. Clearly, 5 miles per hour was nothing more than the average speed. The current would be faster in the middle of the river and slower at the banks. More complicated variations could be expected at bends in the river. Basically it was a question of hydrodynamics, which could be tackled using certain well-known systems of differential equations. Lawrence dove into the problem, rapidly (or so he thought) covering both sides of ten sheets of paper with calculations. Along the way, he realized that one of his assumptions, in combination with the simplified Navier Stokes equations, had led him into an exploration of a particularly interesting family of partial differential equations. Before he knew it, he had proved a new theorem. If that didn’t prove his intelligence, what would?

Then the time bell rang and the papers were collected. Lawrence managed to hang onto his scratch paper. He took it back to his dorm, typed it up, and mailed it to one of the more approachable math professors at Princeton, who promptly arranged for it to be published in a Parisian mathematics journal.

Lawrence received two free, freshly printed copies of the journal a few months later, in San Diego, California, during mail call on board a large ship called the U.S.S. Nevada. The ship had a band, and the Navy had given Lawrence the job of playing the glockenspiel in it, because their testing procedures had proven that he was not intelligent enough to do anything else.”
Neal Stephenson, Cryptonomicon

“My birthday is coming up. I was born on March 5th, 1982. Humans have come a long way since then—nearly 30 years, if my math is good. And my math better be good, because if my math’s no good, what’s that leave? I mean aside from English, art, science, social studies, history, geography, P.E., recess, and of course, lunch.
”
Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you’d still waste time by reading it.

“In any case, do you really think kids even want something that is relevant to their daily lives? You think something practical like compound interest is going to get them excited? People enjoy fantasy, and that is just what mathematics can provide — a relief from daily life, an anodyne to the practical workaday world.”
Paul Lockhart, A Mathematician’s Lament: How School Cheats Us Out of Our Most Fascinating and Imaginative Art Form

“So how does one go about proving something like this? It’s not like being a lawyer, where the goal is to persuade other people; nor is it like a scientist testing a theory. This is a unique art form within the world of rational science. We are trying to craft a “poem of reason” that explains fully and clearly and satisfies the pickiest demands of logic, while at the same time giving us goosebumps.”
Paul Lockhart, A Mathematician’s Lament: How School Cheats Us Out of Our Most Fascinating and Imaginative Art Form 

“There is a largeness about mathematics that transcends race and time; mathematics may humbly help in the market-place, but it also reaches to the stars.”
Robert Turnbull

“Incompetence in mathematics is no proof of brilliance. You must be ignorant of science and geography as well. That is the gold standard of American education.”
Bauvard, The Prince Of Plungers

“Why don’t we want our children to learn to do mathematics? Is it that we don’t trust them, that we think it’s too hard? We seem to feel that they are capable of making arguments and coming to their own conclusions about Napoleon. Why not about triangles?”
Paul Lockhart, A Mathematician’s Lament: How School Cheats Us Out of Our Most Fascinating and Imaginative Art Form

“I’m 30% in love, and if I ever rise to 70%, then I’ll be 100% in love. But I’ll still be mathematically challenged.
”
Jarod Kintz, Whenever You’re Gone, I’m Here For You

“Here’s the thing. Math and I broke up two years ago, and now whenever we get together it’s just weird and awkward for both of us.”
Sariah Wilson, The Ugly Stepsister Strikes Back

“In life two negatives don’t make a positive. Double negatives turn positive only in math and formal logic. In life things just get worse and worse and worse.”
Robert McKee, Story: Style, Structure, Substance, and the Principles of Screenwriting

“Oh, figures!’ answered Ned. ‘You can make figures do whatever you want.”
Jules Verne, 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea

“The language of categories is affectionately known as “abstract nonsense,” so named by Norman Steenrod. This term is essentially accurate and not necessarily derogatory: categories refer to “nonsense” in the sense that they are all about the “structure,” and not about the “meaning,” of what they represent.”
Paolo Aluffi, Algebra: Chapter 0 

“Looking at numbers as groups of rocks may seem unusual, but actually it’s as old as math itself. The word “calculate” reflects that legacy — it comes from the Latin word calculus, meaning a pebble used for counting. To enjoy working with numbers you don’t have to be Einstein (German for “one stone”), but it might help to have rocks in your head.”
Steven H. Strogatz, The Joy of x: A Guided Tour of Math, from One to Infinity

“Mathematics, rightly viewed, possesses not only truth, but supreme beauty—a beauty cold and austere, like that of sculpture, without appeal to any part of our weaker nature, without the gorgeous trappings of painting or music, yet sublimely pure, and capable of a stern perfection such as only the greatest art can show.”
Bertrand Russell, A History of Western Philosophy

“He doesn’t seem to mind at all that he’s stupid about math.”
Wendy Lichtman, Secrets, Lies, and Algebra

 





Top 25 Quotes from Princess Bride

5 06 2013

25. Rhymes with Peanut
Inigo Montoya: That Vizzini, he can fuss.
Fezzik: Fuss, fuss… I think he like to scream at us.
Inigo Montoya: Probably he means no harm.
Fezzik: He’s really very short on charm.
Inigo Montoya: You have a great gift for rhyme.
Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time.
Vizzini: Enough of that.
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?
Fezzik: If there are, we all be dead.
Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it.
Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?

24. The Queen of Refuse
The Ancient Booer: Your true love lives. And you marry another. True Love saved her in the Fire Swamp, and she treated it like garbage. And that’s what she is, the Queen of Refuse. So bow down to her if you want, bow to her. Bow to the Queen of Slime, the Queen of Filth, the Queen of Putrescence. Boo. Boo. Rubbish. Filth. Slime. Muck. Boo. Boo. Boo.

23. The book shows promise
Grandpa: Westley didn’t reach his destination. His ship was attacked by the Dread Pirate Roberts, who never left captives alive. When Buttercup got the news that Westley was murdered…
The Grandson: Murdered by pirates is good.

22. The odds in your favor
Fezzik: We face each other as God intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.
Man in Black: You mean, you’ll put down your rock and I’ll put down my sword, and we’ll try and kill each other like civilized people?
Fezzik: [brandishing rock] I could kill you now.
Man in Black: Frankly, I think the odds are slightly in your favor at hand fighting.
Fezzik: It’s not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don’t even exercise.

21. Dying with dignity
Fezzik: I just want you to feel you’re doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed.

20. A pirate gone soft
Buttercup: You mock my pain!
Man in Black: Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.

19. Decent fellows
Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
The Man in Black: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.

18. A spoonful of sugar
Valerie: The chocolate coating makes it go down easier. But you have to wait fifteen minutes for full potency. And you shouldn’t go in swimming after, for at least, what?
Miracle Max: An hour?
Valerie: Yeah, an hour.

17. To the pain
Westley: To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.
Prince Humperdinck: And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don’t mean to duplicate tonight.
Westley: I wasn’t finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.
Prince Humperdinck: And then my ears, I understand let’s get on with it.
Westley: Wrong! Your ears you keep and I’ll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, “Dear God! What is that thing,” will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.

16. It’ll take a miracle
Miracle Max and Valerie: Have fun stormin’ da castle.

15. Career choices
Inigo Montoya: I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills. There’s not a lot of money in revenge.

14. The pick-up line
Prince Humperdinck: Please consider me as an alternative to suicide.

13. The to-do list
Prince Humperdinck: Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work, but I’ve got my country’s 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it; I’m swamped.
Count Rugen: Get some rest. If you haven’t got your health, then you haven’t got anything.

12. Ewwwww…
The Grandson: They’re kissing again. Do we have to read the kissing parts?

11. Giant dreams
Man in Black: I do not envy you the headache you will have when you awake. But for now, rest well and dream of large women.

10. True love is like a sandwhich
Miracle Max: Sonny, true love is the greatest thing, in the world-except for a nice MLT – mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They’re so perky, I love that.

9. The clueless king
The King: [after Buttercup kisses him] What was that for?
Buttercup: Because you’ve always been so kind to me, and I’ll never see you again, because I’m killing myself as soon as we reach the bridal suite.
The King: Won’t that be nice? She kissed me! Ha!

8. The frog in the throat
The Albino: [raspy voice] The Pit of Despair! Don’t even think… [clears throat] … don’t even think about trying to escape.

7. The fair giant
Vizzini: Finish him. Finish him, your way.
Fezzik: Oh good, my way. Thank you Vizzini… what’s my way?
Vizzini: Pick up one of those rocks, get behind a boulder, in a few minutes the man in black will come running around the bend, the minute his head is in view, hit it with the rock.
Fezzik: My way’s not very sportsman-like.

6. The end
The Grandson: Grandpa, maybe you could come over and read it again to me tomorrow.
Grandpa: As you wish.

5. Westley’s return from the dead
Westley: There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.

4. Inconceivable!
Vizzini: He didn’t fall?! Inconceivable!
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

3. The battle of wits
Vizzini: You fell victim to one of the classic blunders—the most famous of which is, “Never get involved in a land war in Asia”—but only slightly less well-known is this: “Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line”! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha…[thunk].

2. The wedding
The Impressive Clergyman: Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam… And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva… So tweasure your wuv.
Prince Humperdinck: Skip to the end.
The Impressive Clergyman: Have you the wing?

1. Inigo Montoya kills Count Rugen
Inigo Montoya: Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father! Prepare to die!
Count Rugen: Stop saying that!
Inigo Montoya: HELLO! MY NAME IS INIGO MONTOYA! YOU KILLED MY FATHER! PREPARE TO DIE!
Inigo Montoya: Offer me money.
Count Rugen: Yes!
Inigo Montoya: Power, too, promise me that.
Count Rugen: All that I have and more. Please…
Inigo Montoya: Offer me anything I ask for.
Count Rugen: Anything you want…
Inigo Montoya: I want my father back, you son of a ……!





HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU’RE A TEACHER? By Jeff Foxworthy

28 03 2013
1.You get a secret thrill out of laminating things.
2.You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line.
3.You walk into a store and hear the words, “It’s Ms./Mr. ____________ and know you have been spotted.
4.You have 25 people who  accidentally call you Mom/Dad at one time or another.
5.You can eat a multi-course meal in under 25 minutes.
6.You’ve trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of the day, lunch and planning period.
7.You start saving other people’s trash, because most likely, you can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom.
8.You believe the Teacher’s Lounge should be equipped with a margarita machine.
9.You want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to work 7 to 3 and have summers off”.
10.You believe chocolate is a food group.
11.You can tell if it’s a full moon without ever looking outside.
12. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, “Boy, the kids are sure mellow today.”
13.You feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when you are out in public.
14.You believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin.
15.You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
16.You spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
17.You can’t pass the school supply aisle without getting at least 5 items!
18. You ask your friends to use their words and explain if the left hand turn he made was a “good choice” or “bad choice.”
19.You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils.
20. You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer. 21.You understand, instantaneously, why a child behaves in a certain way after meeting his/her parents.




Introducing the new BIO-OPTIC ORGANIZED KNOWLEDGE device, trade named BOOK.

28 03 2013

Introducing the new BIO-OPTIC ORGANIZED KNOWLEDGE device, trade named BOOK.

BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on!!!

It’s so easy to use, even a child can operate it. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere—even sitting in an armchair by the fire — yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disc.

HERE’S HOW IT WORKS

BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. The pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence. Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufactures to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs. Experts are divided on the prospects for further increase in information density; for now, BOOKS with more information simply use more pages.

Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet. BOOK may be taken up at any time and used merely by opening it.

BOOK never crashes or requires rebooting, though like other display devices it can become unusable i dropped overboard. The “browse” feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish. Many come with an “index” feature, which pin-points the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval. An optional “BOOKmark” accessory allows you to open BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session — even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus, a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers. Conversely, numerous BOOKmarkers can be used in a single BOOK if the user wants to store numerous views at once. The number i limited only by the number of pages in the BOOK.

You can also make personal notes next to BOOK text entries with an optional programming tool, the PORTABLE ERASABLE NIB CRYPTIC INTERCOMMUNICATIONAL LANGUAGE STYLUS (PENCILS).

Portable, durable, and affordable, BOOK is being hailed as a precursor of a new entertainment wave. Also, BOOK’s appeal seems so certain that thousands of content creators have committed to the platform and investors are reportedly flocking. Look for a flood of new titles soon!!!





Life Lessons at 90 years old

3 12 2012

Written by Regina Brett , 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio …

“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I’ve ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and
family will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything which isn’t useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

20 When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, and wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t
save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, and then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will
this matter?’

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive but don’t forget.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d
grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have not what you need.

42. The best is yet to come…

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”





THERE ARE TEACHERS… AND THEN THERE ARE EDUCATORS.

14 09 2012

LIPSTICK IN SCHOOL

ACCORDING TO A NEWS REPORT, A CERTAIN PRIVATE CATHOLIC SCHOOL IN BRISBANE WAS RECENTLY FACED WITH A UNIQUE PROBLEM. A NUMBER OF 12-YEAR-OLD GIRLS WERE BEGINNING TO USE LIPSTICK AND WOULD PUT IT ON IN THE BATHROOM. THAT WAS FINE PROVIDED IT WAS OF A NATURAL OR NEUTRAL SKIN TONE — BUT AFTER THEY PUT ON THEIR LIPSTICK THEY WOULD PRESS THEIR LIPS TO THE MIRROR LEAVING DOZENS OF LITTLE LIP PRINTS. EVERY NIGHT THE MAINTENANCE MAN WOULD REMOVE THEM AND THE NEXT DAY THE GIRLS WOULD PUT THEM BACK.

FINALLY THE PRINCIPAL, SISTER PASCHAL, DECIDED THAT SOMETHING HAD TO BE DONE. SHE CALLED ALL THE GIRLS TO THE BATHROOM AND MET THEM THERE WITH THE MAINTENANCE MAN. SHE EXPLAINED THAT ALL THESE LIP PRINTS WERE CAUSING A MAJOR PROBLEM FOR THE CUSTODIAN WHO HAD TO CLEAN THE MIRRORS EVERY NIGHT (YOU CAN JUST IMAGINE THE YAWNS FROM THE LITTLE PRINCESSES). TO DEMONSTRATE HOW DIFFICULT IT HAD BEEN TO CLEAN THE MIRRORS, SISTER PASCHAL ASKED THE MAINTENANCE MAN TO SHOW THE GIRLS HOW MUCH EFFORT WAS REQUIRED. HE TOOK OUT A LONG-HANDLED SQUEEGEE, DIPPED IT IN THE TOILET, AND CLEANED THE MIRROR WITH IT. SINCE THEN, THERE HAVE BEEN NO LIP PRINTS ON THE MIRROR.

THERE ARE TEACHERS… AND THEN THERE ARE EDUCATORS.





What’s going on with Mr. X?

8 05 2012

Mr. X, the Magician, (AKA Bob Bishop) has been busy performing his unique shows. Recently he has been busy performing at conventions, restaurants, parties, conferences and businesses.

He has been creating Magical Moments that leave a lasting impression!  If you are an event planner needing an illusionist or close-up magician for your conference, awards dinner or party, Mr. X is your best choice!

Take a look at my face book and get as many people as you can to Like it.

Our goal is to get 500 by May 25th!!

Look it up and see what you think.

https://www.facebook.com/MrXCorporateMagician

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Math-Magician/272971359454909

Web page is http://www.odysseylearningadventures.com/