Funny Statements for Punsters

1.  Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.  The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

2.  A jumper cable walks into a bar.  The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

3.  A dyslexic man walks into a bra…….

4. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: A beer please , and one for the road.”

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown.  One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?’!

7. “Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.  Daisy says to Dolly, “I was artificially inseminated this morning.”  “I don’t believe you,” says Dolly.  “It’s true, no bull!” exclaims Daisy.

8.  An invisible man marries an invisible woman.  The kids were nothing to look at either.

9. Deja Moo: the feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.

10.  I went to buy come camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

11.  I went to a seafood disco last week…and pulled a mussel.

Metacognition is my Coach by Sophia Wieber 5th grade

“If you had a friend who talked to you like you talk to yourself, would you continue to hang around with that person?” asked Rob Bremer. Hopefully, you answered yes. Bremer believes that you should think and talk to yourself in a positive way.

Some people insult and discourage themselves like a pessimist insults the day. People who think that way never succeed because they think they cannot. If you would dislike a friend who talked to you like that, why treat yourself that way?

If you encourage and cheer yourself on, you would want a friend like that. The people who encourage themselves succeed because they believe they can.

Be metacognitive and think about how you think. Metacognition is like your coach. He can encourage you or discourage you.

Dr. Lamebrain performing one of his most baffling illusions

If you following this link you will see me perform one of my favorite magic tricks.

http://www.facebook.com/v/2125775518249

For information for having Bob as a guest speaker or for products you will find him on the web at……..

http://www.odysseylearningadventures.com/

The True Hero of Valentines Day by Ben Bishop

As the white, pink and red fill up the stores, as the chocolates get eaten from cardboard hearts, we as a society reflect on what we will give and what we will get.  It’s the curse of consumerism.  Yet in the midst of all the gifts, bribery, advertising; there is a thread of true love.  In the middle of all the pressure there is the inkling of what it truly means to give without receiving, to hope without expecting, to live with the threat of continual and everlasting embarrassment. This hint of what love truly is happens to be embodied in a character.

Let me explain…

Who in the whole world of fiction is the most romantic character?

Who embodies a pure selfless life?

Who fails time and time again… and yet gets up and still lives on?

Who carries the pain of ridicule and yet searches onward?

Which fictional character do most people see themselves as and yet cannot obtain the virtues that this character has?

Who is this mystery person?

This ‘lovable loser’ is the football flying, baseball losing, kite destroying Charlie Brown.

In all the years of his story, as told by Charles Shultz, he never kicked that football, never won a baseball game, never asked the red-headed girl out, only received rocks on Halloween, never received a valentines, and never succeeded in any of the dreams he held dear.  Yet, he kept trying!  He gave in his attempts his all, and never ever gave up.

Charlie Brown stubbornly refused to give in even when all is lost from the outset like every single Valentines day he faced the fear of an empty mailbox or when he stood on the pitcher’s mound alone on the baseball field, not even letting a torrential downpour interrupt his beloved game.

That’s a hero who shows true love, ladies and gentlemen!

That’s the most romantic thing a person could ever do – continually attempt a dream that appears hopeless. It is romance to continually strive after an ideal even if it is never obtained – to never lose hope; to have a dream deferred but never destroyed.

Hopelessness is the Grendel of our generation, and Charlie Brown is today’s Beowulf.

Today, and not only on today either, find a way to appreciate a Charlie Brown.  Say thank you to someone who is bravely and triumphantly fighting the fight against hopelessness, give a Valentines to someone who may have never got one before, let someone ‘kick that football’ that is always being pulled away by life.

If you are single or even if you are married to a ‘Chuck’ (of either gender), don’t think about just what candies, flowers, and affection you want or desire this day; instead choose to be a hero to those truly brave souls. Become a true hero today…

Become a True Hero of Valentines Day.

Motivational Quotations: Playful

• Playful: Finding humor, the whimsical, incongruous, and unexpected

If you can laugh at it, you can live with it.”
Erma Bombeck”Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.”
Victor Borge

“The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed.”
Sebastien-Roch Nicolas de Chamfort

“I’d rather be a failure at something I enjoy than be a success at something I hate.”
George Burns

“The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.”
Mark Twain

“People are at their most mindful when they are at play. If we find ways of enjoying our work—blurring the lines between work and play—the gains will be greater.”
Ellen Langer

“You can increase your brain power three to fivefold simply by laughing and having fun before working on a problem.”
Doug Hall

“Fun is going to enhance interest, because people don’t feel incompetent when they’re having fun.”
Matthew S. Richter

“You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself.”
Ethel Barrymore

“Humor comes from self-confidence. There’s an aggressive element to wit.”
Rita Mae Brown

“A day without laughter is a day wasted.”
Charlie Chaplin

“Were it not for my little jokes, I could not bear the burdens of this office.”
Abraham Lincoln

 
“A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs—jolted by every pebble in the road.”
Henry Ward Beecher

“Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.”
Kurt Vonnegut

“I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.”
Frank A. Clark

“Laughter is an instant vacation.”
Milton Berle

“Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.”
William James

“The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes.”
William Davis

“Warning: Humor may be hazardous to your illness.”
Ellie Katz

“Joy in one’s heart and some laughter on one’s lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.”
Hugh Sidey

“A good laugh is good for both the mental and physical digestion.”
Abraham Lincoln

“A man isn’t poor if he can still laugh.”
Raymond Hitchcock

What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.
Yiddish Proverb

“The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not ‘Eureka!’ but ‘That’s funny….’”
Isaac Asimov

How to be a Creative Genius #11

Life Lessons from the Childhood of Einstein

11.   Make questioning a central activity of your life

   I continued to ask questions. I did not give up when I was told that no one could answer those questions.  My search led to a whole new way of looking at the universe in which we live. 

One common thread that held all these experiences together was asking questions!!

I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious. I have no particular talent. I am merely inquisitive.   I was born with a question mark in my mind.  I asked questions.

Is there anything farther away than space?

 How does light get all the way from the stars to your eyes? 

What would it be like to ride a beam of light?

    Is there anything bigger than the universe?

If I were about to be killed and had only one hour to figure out how to save my life, I would devote the first 55 minutes of that hour to searching for the right question.  Once I had that question, finding the answer would take only about 5 minutes.

 In 1905 I finally had some answers to some of the most important scientific questions.

 Why does the dust jiggle on the surface of water?  Brownian movement of molecules

      2.  What is light made of?  Waves or particles  Discovery of Photons

      3.   What would it be like to travel at the speed of light?  Theory of relativity

Without strong questioning skills, you are just a passenger on someone else’s tour bus.  You may be on the highway, but someone else is doing the driving. Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.

One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day.

 Never lose a holy curiosity.

Questions and questioning may be the most powerful technologies of all.

 To raise new questions, new possibilities, to regard old problems from a new angle, requires creative imagination and marks real advance in science.  My only genius talent is inquisitiveness. People like you and me never grow old.  We never cease to stand like curious children before the great mystery in which we were born.

 Make questioning a central activity of your life

Teaching Concentration Rather than Cheating

There are many lessons we learn from games. When players cheat we learn about character and the expression of ethics. Perhaps games give us a clue of the true character of an individual. Like the quote from Ovid, “In our play we reveal what kind of people we are.”As a teacher I am trying to teach students to learn from games and not just play to win. Perhaps winning is the only time students have been rewarded and praised. And sadly this could lure students into cheating. As a teacher I must think of the big picture- the long view. Winning is a great feeling but learning from mistakes and building mental strength has more transferable aspects. Of course building self-esteem by winning is a fine goal but unique and honorable is the student who can pick up the pieces of a lost game and seek to learn from it. At early ages focus and concentration are often difficult habits to learn. Rather than trying to teach winning at all costs and allow for the temptation to cheat, I am attempting to praise characteristics of staying at something and concentrating. Here are some character defintitions to help in this goal: Character attributes of concentration: 1. Determination: The mental act of deciding, establishing and adherence to an aim. 2. Persistence: Persevering in an effort for a considerable time regardless of seeing results. 3. Tenacity: Holding firmly to a course or direction. 4. Resoluteness: Sticking to the focus of the goal. 5. Toughness: Sustaining one’s spirit following defeats. 6. Endurance: Staying power and the ability to sustain an increased level of activity without getting distracted or discouraged. These are honorable characteristics for games as well as for life. Perhaps these are greater lessons than playing just to win.

About This Site

The Magic of Motivation

This site is dedicated to teachers, parents, employers, employees, students and anyone interested in motivating themselves and others.  If your desire is to ignite yourself and others to use their full potential this website will provide ideas, articles, quotes and book suggestions that may help.

 

If you want to visit a particular category use the category listing or use these links below:

-  For Parents contains resources for parents to encourage their children

- For Teachers contains classroom ideas for classroom motivation

- Gifted Education contains resources specifically for teachers and parents of gifted children

- Self-motivation for Everyone contains ideas for students, employers and employees

- Motivational Quotes contains uplifting, encouraging or kick-in-the-pants quotes to motivate

- Resources contains books and articles with comments to help in the motivation process

- Creativity contains ideas to ignite and inspire creative expression and productivity

- Motivational Speaking Engagements contains an update on what Bob is doing

-Student Essays and Ideas contains quotes and writings of students

-View Bob’s website at http://odysseylearningadventures.com/